Ambition

Why can’t I be as ambitious as everyone else?

I asked myself this question after I defended my undergraduate thesis. Everyone around me seemed to have a super-straight notion of their goals and how they to reach them. For me everything that came after doing a degree – felt and still feels – like a blur.

I overworked my way through my degree. Was it worth it? Yes and no. I missed on many important things because of my obsession with being the best (which I never did accomplish because it never felt enough). I did get very good grades and managed to build a strong CV but I never felt satisfied. Dissatisfaction brought doubt and confussion.

I have found that some people feel the very same way I do, which is relieving and makes me feel less worried about it. Sharing thoughts and exchanging ideas helps me put things in perspective. But there are also people around me that overestimate the ‘achieving and producing’ phase of any professional. People always consider those that pile up in work and/or study, as more ‘capable of’ and people underestimate those who don’t.

In the end, the only thing that matters is being comfortable with who you are and what you want, having in mind that your value is not measured by your productivity and drive, but by what you are as a person, and that things will eventually sort out in your favor.